Mistakes
by Serenading Blossom
Summary: Why hate imperfection? I don't know, but whatever the reason is, it's no reason to never forgive and never love. And yet, that's exactly what they all did to me.


Soro-chan: Something to get out my system and release stress. Please enjoy for I do not really want to share much information on this because it's painful. I do not Shugo Chara, this is not beta'd, it is prone to mistakes, and yeah. Arigato, minna-san.

Romance/Angst/Tragedy/Friendship/Drama... I chose Tragedy and Romance. Depressing material.

* * *

Mistakes

* * *

Everybody makes mistakes. I make mistakes. You make mistakes. She makes mistakes, he makes mistakes, they make mistakes, we make mistakes. Mistakes happen because no one is perfect. And yet, we come closer to achieving perfection by learning from what we create: mistakes.

Who doesn't want perfection? No one, no matter what they say. It's all lies. On the inside, perfection is a common desire in which all of humanity shares. Why judge on something we have in common? Why be a hypocrite? Mistakes happen. They just happen.

Why hate imperfection? I don't know, but whatever the reason is, it's no reason to never forgive and never love. And yet, that's exactly what they all did to me.

* * *

**I'm not amazingly smart or perfect in academics.**

Kairi stared into my eyes with a serious look on his face, holding up the flashcards.

"Amu, what is 6x - 7 = 0?"

"X = 6/7," I said in one second.

"Wrong. X = 7/6. Amu, what is 7y + 9 = 0?"

"Y = 9/7."

"Wrong. X = -9/7."

What a bad day for the first day of class, I thought as the teacher told us to return the cards.

Kairi gave me a stare before taking the cards back. Nikaidou-sensei handed out a study sheet to work with our partners. Kairi seemed stuck on number one. "Need help?" I asked.

"No," he mumbled before working on his own, moving a seat further away from me.

* * *

**I'm not the most athletic person ever.**

"Amu, what's your mile time?"

"8:13," I replied to Nadeshiko.

"Oh."

"Yours?" I asked her.

"7:12," she told me.

"Oh."

"Class," Yukari-sensei yelled with a blow of her whistle. "Everyone run two cool-down laps!"

"Want to run together?" I asked Nadeshiko.

"No," she said before hurrying off.

* * *

**I'm not a cooking prodigy.**

My cake exploded inside of the oven for the third time as my group groaned. "Again, Amu?"

"S-sorry. I don't like baking," I said coolly.

"Why don't you just clean the area up over there and we'll do it?"

"Sure," I mumbled. Later, Yuuko-sensei asked if we wanted to bake a second batch for our friends and families, and we could get into new groups of our choice.

"Let's work together again," I said.

"No," Yaya looked at me apologetically before skipping off.

* * *

**I don't have a phenomenal vocal range.**

"Ahhh~" I sing a high note for a short time before cracking a little during warm-ups. The teacher told us to grab a partner to pair up for a singing project. I spied Tadase, who sang his warm-ups perfectly.

"Do you want to be my partner?" I asked.

"I, uhm, already have one, sorry," he mumbled before walking away.

I stood there, criticizing his lie since I was the first one to ask him.

* * *

**I am not the perfect girlfriend/best friend.**

"Ikuto," I mumbled.

"Come on Amu... I just want to kiss."

"But I'm not ready!" I said.

"Fine! It's been three months and you... you..." he stormed off.

I'm sorry...

"Amu, why don't you just give him a chance?" Utau said. I shrugged. "Well, do you want to go to a concert this Saturday? I bought you a ticket..."

"I'm busy that day..." I murmured. She began to tear up.

"Utau, I'm sorry, but I'm just busy that day. It's just a concert-"

"It's my birthday on that day! I can't believe you forgot!" she began to tear up. "How long have we known each other and yet..."

"Utau, wait!"

But she had already run off.

* * *

**I am not the most rational person.**

After that day, I let Ikuto kiss me. I let him do anything. The next thing I knew, I woke up inside a motel, covered by only a thin, white sheet.

Ikuto wasn't there at my side. He was gone, and left a note on the bed.

I ripped it up and cried.

* * *

**I am not a good child.**

"Mom, I'm pregnant."

"Wh-what?"

"I'm pregnant," I whispered.

She broke out into tears. "You're only in middle school!"

I lowered my head in shame. "I know."

"We can't support this baby," she sniffled.

"I know."

She broke into more tears, and I felt one of my own slip down my face.

"Are you telling dad?"

"Do I have a choice?" her voice cracked with sobs.

I bit my lip, unable to answer her.

* * *

**I am not abiding by my morals.**

"You're pregnant?" Ikuto sputtered.

"I used to be."

"What do you mean?"

"I aborted it."

He stood there in silent shock before breaking up with me.

* * *

**I am not your lover anymore.**

We broke up, but he still talked to me. We still kissed. We still held hands. We still had regular sex - with a condom.

Everyone had no idea we were so broken. So filled with mistakes.

Then, word got out.

"You slut! How could you abort your baby? Why are you still with Ikuto!?"

"I'm not," I replied simply.

"Slut!" they screamed.

"I love him," I said.

"You don't deserve him, you bitch!"

I don't...?

"Get away from Ikuto!"

"You'll contaminate him!"

"Dirty skank!"

I just wanted to get away from my mistakes...

* * *

**I am imperfect and unloved.**

My friends don't talk to me anymore.

People either hate me or are intimidated by me now.

My mother and father no longer pay attention to me.

All I have left is Ikuto... and even he doesn't love me.

"Do you still love me, Ikuto?" I asked him nervously, standing before him.

"No," he said before taking my hand.

"Oh."

* * *

**Too many mistakes have been made.**

"I'm scared."

"The condoms didn't work?"

"N-no, I'm pregnant again. It must have broken somehow. Do I keep it..?"

"Yes," Ikuto said quickly.

So I kept it. My stomach grew, the hate grew, my parents' distance from me grew, the mistakes in everything I did grew. Everything.

I had the baby.

"Ikuto, what should we name it?"

"I don't want to name it."

"Wh-what?"

"Put it up for adoption. I don't want it. I just didn't want you to abort it."

"But... but why?"

"Because you were only a good fuck, Amu. And I don't kill unborn babies."

I broke down, knees hitting the ground, tears splattering on the surface. He spat to the side.

"Amu... I think we're done here."

I looked up, fear in my eyes.

"Don't leave me..."

"I have no choice."

He left.

* * *

**Everybody makes mistakes. **

I keep telling myself that. Everybody makes mistakes. It's okay. Right?

No, it's not okay, a deep part inside of me said.

Putting a razor to my wrist, I slitted it.

After the pain settled in and the blood dripping registered in my mind, I realized that I made another mistake.

But it's too late.

Only true fools make this mistake. And I find myself realizing something horrifying.

Everybody makes mistakes...

But not this one.

I closed my eyes.

* * *

Soro-chan: Not my best work, I am not committing suicide, I am thinking about it but will never attempt it. I am not getting bullied, it just came out like this. I have made a lot of mistakes and people are hating me for it. But everyone makes mistakes. Right? Yes, everybody makes mistakes... But only reasonable mistakes. Fortunately, suicide is not reasonable. Spread the word. Don't bully, don't commit suicide. Everybody makes mistakes, don't be a hypocrite. That's all I want to say because something related to this happened and I don't want it to ever happen again. Be aware, minna-san...


End file.
